I started journaling during my morning prayer/meditation time. Today, I felt like God was saying stop changing his meaning based on what we want him to be saying. I hear a lot of people in today's age (and religious scholars in the scriptures) that twist the language of inclusivity God uses, and changes it to be exclusive and limited. But all means all. I hope you enjoy the video!
​Sha
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I was listening to the radio this morning and the host was telling a story about how she finds herself gauging her life goals by how far along other people are. Hearing someone else say that sounds silly, but if we take a second to do inventory on our own thoughts, we all are guilty of the spirit of comparison at times. Comparing your life to that of someone else is the worst thing you can do! Like Teddy Roosevelt said, "Comparison is the thief of joy." I want to go into 2020 free of resistance to the good things in store for me. I want to finally be able to live up to my potential and aligned with my purpose. But, if I'm honest, I have some bad habits to get rid of before I can be free of resistance. The first of those is to give up comparison. With me, comparison doesn't always appear as itself, but when I dig deeper into my thoughts and feelings, I find that the root of majority of my bad thoughts are comparing myself to other people or to where I think I should be by now. Let's unpack that last sentence for a bit. The easiest diagnosis of comparison is to check your emotions. When you are scrolling social media and you see those posts of people on vacation, hanging with their family, getting t he keys to their new home or car, or just relaxing with Bae, how do those posts make you feel? I'm not asking what you admit out loud. I'm not asking if you like the post or not. Sometimes we heart a post out of habit or to let someone know that we are keeping up with them. I'm asking what are your hidden thoughts and emotions when you encounter that someone else with something you desire to do or acquire? That brief moment of envy or jealousy is a symptom of comparison, and often times you end up resenting or distancing yourself from the people that you think have what you want because it's easier to not see it. You'll stop calling as much or scroll past their posts. You may even accuse them of changing or come up with some reason (excuse) as to why things are different. Another sign is the dreadful negative self-talk. Like when you see or hear of someone else doing something wonderful and you say to yourself, "I'll never be able to do that," "Must be nice," or "I can't enjoy things like that." Thoughts like these continue to confirm for yourself that the grass is greener in everyone else's life. Comparison doesn't only happen over things and lifestyles. We compare everything! Parenting, spiritual journeys, jobs, free time, business success, relationship success, looks, intellect, prestige, family ties, you name it. And every time we judge ourselves based on what we think we know or see in someone else, we rob ourselves of inner joy and the ability to accept the things that are for us. So, how do we stop comparing? I wish I could say that you just have to make up your mind to stop and like magic it would be done. In reality though, making up your mind is just the first step. After deciding that you want to change, you now have to practice the change over and over until you have formed a new habit. To stop the spirit of comparison, you must replace it with the opposite, the spirit of encouragement. Comparison is a thought illness. So, likewise, the remedy begins in your thoughts as well. Comparison convinces you that good things are limited and that you will miss out because someone else already has it. But that's a lie! The universe is vast and there is enough room for other people to have good things and you too. There is no lack of goodness. Secondly, energy is real. Vibes are real. The energy you put out into the universe comes back to you in an increasing measure. Some call this reaping and sowing. Seek and you shall find. Ask and you shall receive. All of these mean the same thing. What you focus on, you attract more of. So, focusing on lack and being envious only creates more opportunities to be jealous in your life. Misery loves company, but delight is contagious. Instead of comparing, congratulate. Become and enthusiastic encourager of others. Celebrate the good things in others' lives. Instead of distancing yourself from those who are doing well, gravitate towards them. We absorb the energy around us and make it our own. When we are in the midst of positive energy, like when someone is celebrating, it charges your vibrations as well. Celebration, laughter, and loving actions physically make you feel better. But, the opposite is true also. Complaining, comparison, and negative energy change our vibration and make us physically ill. Think about the symbolism of distancing yourself from goodness vs. gravitating towards goodness. That is exactly what we are doing on an energy and spiritual level. With our thoughts, our words, our actions, our energy, and our habits, we are literally pushing further away from or pulling further into feelings of joy. Notice that I said feelings of joy. Because life sucks sometimes and bad things will happen to everyone. But, joy is a state of being. Pressing into joy means protecting your energy when those negative things happen, and not letting a bad moment or event predict what you attract for your future. So join me in my journey of living the vision for 2020 by taking a stand against comparison. Let us shift from the worst to the best. Let us have a year of celebration and success. Sha I recently posted a rant on Facebook on the subject of race relations, spirituality, and "the agenda" of being "woke." My thoughts seemed to go over fairly smoothly, which was somewhat of a surprise. However, I noticed that a lot of my friends liked or hearted the post but only two of them commented on it, and those two people were black. Not a single one of my caucasian friends felt comfortable enough to comment, even if what they had to say would have been supportive or encouraging. Now, being that I lived life with most of the people that liked or hearted my post, I know them well enough to know that they have been deeply troubled by the wrongdoing of minorities in this country. I have had plenty of offline conversations with them and have seen how disturbed they were. I have watched them shed tears over injustice and discrimination. Yet, online or in front of the masses they have been reduced to silence for fear of offending the very ones they are standing up for, or worse, being condemned and told that they don't have a voice because their skin happens to lack melanin. THIS IS NOT OK! Does white privilege exist in 2019? Yes. Is there still discrimination? Yes. But do those facts disqualify an entire race from being allowed to have an opinion and join the conversation? HELL NO! How in the world do we expect anything to get better when we are just exchanging one version of racism for another? How can we call ourselves Kings and Queens and still be playing the victim card? We can't be both, we must choose our identity. Jumping down every white person's throat and saying they just don't understand doesn't encourage change. In fact, it hinders it. You know what prompts change? Dialogue. Grace. Acknowledgement. Education. Unity. If they don't understand, how about we educate them and show them the way. How about we seek healing over vengeance. But instead, so many people have gotten stuck on anger and bitterness, wanting to punish people and call it justice. But it's not justice at all. It's pride and hurt feeling and unhealed hearts. It's generations of trauma being passed down like a curse that won't break. I understand where it comes from, but it is still not right. So to ALL of my friends and associates, it is safe for you to talk to me and to respectfully join any conversation on my page. All of your voices matter. All of your input will be heard. Will we agree on everything? Probably not. But I am no better than the bigots before me if I sit back and allow the mistreatment of any human in my presence. I got a tattoo about two years ago of a safety pin with the words AMOR VINCIT OMNIA below it, which means love conquers all. I stand by this tattoo. Love is the only force that can drive out the hatred and evil flooding our world. So, I choose to live from love.
YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS!!!! Sometimes you have to encourage yourself. Sometimes you have to motivate yourself. What I need to hear today is that I am worth the fight and that I will believe in God's promises to me..NO MATTER WHAT. I will press on and I will not give up on my dreams.
You’re going to walk a path that forever will be your own If you have ever read my content or watched any of my videos, you know that I use the word "journey" a lot. This word is important to me because I feel like it best describes how life is for us. We progress through life heading in a direction, but we don't fully know where it will lead or what we will find or who we will encounter. Life is truly a journey. I met an interesting person on my journey this week. His name is Thomas Curran and he is walking across the United States from the east coast to the west coast. I got a chance to sit down and interview him for an article in the newspaper that I write for. In our conversation, I learned that he just tuned 50 years old and he is using his journey across America to raise awareness and funds for pediatric cancer. You can follow him and get more information about his story in my article here or on his blog Moving On West. Thomas said something that has stuck with me since our interview. He said, “The beauty of transcon walking is that you’re going to walk a path that forever will be your own. Nobody will ever walk my walk. We all, every day, have to make a decision about where we’re going to go and what street we’re going to walk on.” I can't help but see the parallel between that and life in general. In fact, I think if more people saw life and the people we interact with in life through the lens of Thomas' quote, the world would be a lot better off. People spend so much time trying to make someone else believe the same, think the same, feel the same, or react the same. But the truth is, we all experience life differently. That means we experience love differently and pain differently. We experience joy differently and shame differently. We experience God differently and spirituality differently. We have different thoughts and beliefs and backgrounds. And no two people will ever be exactly the same. But here is the awesome part, we're not supposed to be. Our differences make us beautiful, and is what helps us push each other to greatness. Variety and community are part of God's creativity. We are meant to compliment each other, both literally and metaphorically. We all have different gifts and when we share them we create space for this holy exchange. When we encounter someone, we get the opportunity to empathize with them and expand each other's experience of life. Thomas lives in California. He happened to stop in my little small town of Searcy, Arkansas due to an injury of his accompanying dog, Wink. But that pit stop gave me a chance to meet someone that had a spiritual deposit for me. I may never see him again, but what he taught me will never be unlearned. And for that very small encounter, I am grateful. Another thing that stood out about Thomas and what he said is this; every day will be different and every moment will be special. Not only will no one else ever be able to walk Thomas' walk. but even Thomas could not have the exact same journey again. Each day and stop and person along the way is special because it is only available in this moment. If he had made to Searcy sooner, he would have met a different group of people, or maybe not even have stayed more than a few hours. I may not have had time to meet up with him for the interview if the days would have been different. Imagine the kinds of lives we could live if we looked at every person we come in contact with as a teacher or giver of something special. What if we were able to exist alongside someone without wanting them to change to fit into our world? What if we respected each other's perspective more and made room for the differences? How much conflict would cease? How many disagreements would dissipate? How much more time could we spend celebrating humanity instead of condemning actions? I want to live in a world where we understand and appreciate the sacredness of each person's journey. I want to be a person that extends grace to my own journey. I want to be a part of a community that accepts and includes, knowing that we are all better off when we do. We all have our own walks. We all make decisions every moment of which path we will take. And we all get the benefit of grace when our choices fail to bring us the best that is offered. May we change what we focus on and appreciate what is available to us. -Sha Real post alert! It bothers me to see so much need and know that most of them won't be met. And it's not always because people are unwilling to help. Sometimes it's because the person with the need is unwilling to accept help. Or because the help isn't interesting enough to get their attention. So how do we fix this? I'm seriously asking! How do we bring the resources and those that could use them together? Watch the video for more of my thoughts on the subject. Don't forget to add me to all social media! Instagram @baeandsha AND @certifiedfriendly Facebook @authorsha AND @certifiedfriendlyllc Twitter @topia_sha AND @Certifiedfrien1 In case you didn't know, the town I live in recently won a national competition resulting in a feature on a reality show called "The Small Business Revolution -- Main Street." The show airs this fall on HULU and on the Small Business Revolution website. You can get more info and watch the show by clicking here.
Amanda Brinkman is the host of the show and she champions the mantra "Do Well by Doing Good." She believes that by doing good, no matter how small, that everyone can benefit from it. That the world can be changed if we each take the time to do good for each other. Throughout the process of trying to win, I really saw my community come together for the good of the whole town and it was amazing to see. Now that we have won, I've noticed even more people coming together for this great cause. The community has rallied behind the businesses that were vying for a spot in one of six to receive makeovers. The company that sponsors the show, Deluxe Corp, has done a great job of getting people to see the benefit of supporting small businesses and shopping local. Watching the reality show reinforces that idea. So having Searcy and the small businesses here be featured on this national platform is nothing short of a wonderful opportunity. But here is what I have realized on top of how great the opportunity is; the inspiration this chance brings to others is even better. What I have noticed is that winning this contest has created hope in the hearts of the people, and hope is priceless. Hope gives people a reason to live. Hope motivates someone to try a little harder and to not give up just yet. Hope keeps the party going! It's kind of like having someone from your high school go professional in a sport. That excitement of thinking "wow, it could happen to me" is inevitable. So is the hope that the Small Business Revolution has brought to my town. It has even inspired me to take the plunge to pursue my own dreams as a business owner and motivational speaker. Because of the momentum I saw with the contest, and then our win, I believed enough in myself to take the next step at setting up an online directory called Certified Friendly that will help businesses be recognized for the support they provide the community, and help people find businesses that are supportive of their specific needs. Because I wanted to launch my directory, I started talking to friends and acquaintances about it. And most of them have shared that they are motivated to do something positive with their lives too! So now, I find that I am being surrounded by people that are all trying to make the world better in their own little way. And the good vibes just keep growing. Networks are being formed of people that can help each other. Friendships are being transformed into business partnerships and accountability. Community is being lived in a way that rarely happens in today's society of microwaves and text messages. People are actually talking to each other and reaching out to get to know groups that have little in common. It is heartwarming to be a part of and gives me even more hope in humanity. I often say that the world will change when communication matters more to people than certainty. As it turns out, it only takes one little contest to get people talking, sharing, and being together. The same way the Small Business Revolution showed up and changed the way our country does business, I hope the good that is spread changes the way our country treats people. May the light overtake the darkness. Sha Recently I watched a TED talk about teaching girls to be brave. It was a great presentation that I could relate to as a female, and also as a mom of a daughter. The latter category, though, brew questions that prompted me to have a conversation with said daughter. And that is when I realized that the true lesson of the moment was what my daughter could teach me. During the presentation, Reshma Saujani speaks of the pressure on girls to be perfect instead of adventurous. That girls, for the most part, only pursue things they KNOW they can do and shy away from things they are not confident in. That girls are more likely to believe that they are failures instead of thinking that a project or problem just needs to be reworked. All of this totally made sense to me. I know so many females whose first statement when asked to try something new is "I can't do that." I know a lot of girls who give up when things get difficult because quitting to them is a better feeling than failing...because, to them, failing means something is wrong with them. To them, failing means they are not perfect. How many girls do you know will not even check the mailbox without a full face of makeup on? How many girls do you know that won't ask a question in public because of fear of being seen as dumb, or weak, or imperfect? How many women do you know that have so much to offer the world, but don't because they think no one wants to hear what they have to say? How many of these types of questions are you "the girl" that they could be talking about? According to Saujani, this social pressure for girls to be perfect instead of brave has led to all the statistics that feminists quote about men in leadership, as CEOs, and in pay rate comparisons. It's not that women can't do the jobs. It's that females are less likely to try to pursue things because we have less experience going for the gusto. So naturally, I wandered where my own daughter fell on this matter. But before we get too far ahead, here is some back story. I had her at 22 years old. She is the only girl of three children, sandwiched between her brothers. for the first two-thirds of her life, I was a stay at home mom and wife that homeschooled. Three years ago I went to work outside of the home, and my job required long hours, night shift rotations, and working every other weekend. Needless to say, I have a lot of insecurities as a mom. Partially because of my failed marriages, but also because that idea of perfection that girls expect of themselves also infiltrated my ideas about motherhood for a long time. And with those expectations, I fell like I made a lot of mistakes. I have corrected them over time, teaching lessons as much as possible. Trying to show my children, and especially my daughter, that it is ok to not be confident, as long as you don't let the fear hinder you from moving forward. So, nervously I asked my daughter, Sita, what she thought about the presentation. Her first question caught me completely off guard. She said, "Why do I have to choose?" Ok, I thought, fair point. You don't have to choose between perfection and bravery. As a matter of fact, a lot of things that you pursue in faith will end up showing you that you are really great at them. Secretly, I loved that she refused to allow even this slight appearance of a limitation. But I know my daughter, and I know that she does shy away from things and will sometimes reply immediately with "I can''t do that." So I asked her, "Taking perfection out of the equation, do you try to go for things even if you are not confident or even if you are scared?" And she told me absolutely! Sita had recently tried out for the local cheerleading team for next year's school grade. She did not make the team. She used this as an example to me. Apparently my daughter was very scared to try out to be a Jr. High cheerleader, but she did it anyway. And not making the team really hurt her, but she knows that it will be ok. Somehow, some way, this young lady sitting next to me had learned bravery despite all the things I felt I had gotten wrong. Apparently all those times that I had talked to her had meant something to her. But more than my words, I think my own bravery gave her something to model after. My kids and I have had many conversations about the way they view me. In their eyes, they think I am strong and smart and wise. During those same conversations, I revealed to them that I don't look at myself that same way. That I actually have a lot of times that I am afraid, but that I just push through it and try anyway. I also talk to them about all the things I felt like I got wrong in parenting. And I've apologized and explained to them my thought process and how it changed. I explained why I wanted them to know. I've been brave by being transparent with them, and that has apparently helped my daughter be brave in her own life. That day, my daughter taught me that children have so much to offer. And that all my faults and flaws and insecurities cannot prevent the nurturing love of a parent from raising good humans through honesty and compassion. My daughter taught me that bravery and honesty trump perfection because perfection is not reality, but overcoming obstacles is. My name is Sha Johnson, and I am asking you to vote for my town. Searcy is this small town in Central Arkansas. I moved to this area in 2010. Before coming here, I had never heard of Searcy. To be honest, I didn't even pronounce the name right. I pronounced it SEAR-SEE like the name of the store, instead of SIR-SEE. My plan in 2010 was to be here for a year or two, and then move on, or back, to a bigger city. It is February 2019, and I am still here. Why? Because that small town has captured my heart and made me feel at home. On the surface, people don't see anything special about Searcy. That's because what makes Searcy so special are the amazing humans that live here, and the way the town rallies together. However, once you take a closer look, the depths of beauty and magnitude of good in this town are never ending. A lot of people think that small towns lack diversity. Well not Searcy. Searcy has residents of different ages, races, beliefs, backgrounds, denominations, economic classifications, and gender identities. But mere residency doesn't make us diverse. All those different kinds of people come together here, and cleave as one community. I know this because I am one of those people who will never fit into a majority box. Yet, I am welcomed, accepted, and loved in this town. People value me here just as much as the "mainstream" citizen. Not only me, but everyone has a place here. That was reason number one. Reason number two: Searcy's revolution has already started. You see, like every other town in America, Searcy has a past and a reputation. However, the Searcy of today has evolved so much from the the way it was so many years ago. And I believe that evolution came with the magic of the loving hearts and creativity of the people here. The past couple of years, I have witnessed this town become closer and more open. I've seen ideas become reality and dreams come true. I've watched the metamorphosis of a community from a caterpillar into a butterfly. The town has grown, and the synergy can be felt with every conversation. As a boomerang city, people may leave for a while, but the city is so special that they always come back. Thirdly, I want you to vote for Searcy, because your vote won't be wasted on us. We are hungry for more improvements. We are ready for a big push. And let's be honest, no matter how loving and open a group of people are, everything costs money. The small businesses in Searcy can use the investment to not only affect the health of their shops, but to truly "Do Well By Doing Good" and spreading that investment to others. It's already in our DNA to share the good we receive. If we win the Small Business Revolution, we can do even more good with our community and the rest of the state of Arkansas. I want you to vote for #MySearcy, because your vote could help this small town make a big impact. Please, go to www.gosearcy.com everyday and support this small town that I love. Voting ends February 19th at 10pm CST. Clutter, Don't you hate it? I hate it,, but I also have comfort in it. Is that weird? Like, I know that I feel more at ease when there is less clutter around me. But, I also need just a little clutter nearby. It's as if I need clear but not perfect. My mind is kind of like that too. I have precise thoughts, but they are on rapid fire most of the time. I bounce from one topic to another, follow one rabbit trail to another one. God bless anyone who has to listen to me ramble, because I know that I can start at Earth and end up on Pluto somewhere after circling the galaxy about half a dozen times. This post, though, is about a different kind of clutter. (Which is another example of how my brain works. I had a topic in mind, and my brain took over. lol) This post is about the clutter of our identities and beliefs. You see, I couldn't sleep last night, as is often the case lately. And, in my non-sleep, I was thinking about all my dreams and ideas. Then, a thought infiltrated my system. This thought said, "you are too unfocused. You need to streamline. Pick one thing and just worry about that.." Hello Doubt. Nice to see you haven't quit your job yet. Doubt loves to creep in right in the middle of inspiration and motivation. But here is the thing about doubt; she comes from hidden clutter in our minds. And that clutter comes from all the people we've listened to before. We hear an immeasurable amount of words. Well, technically they have measured and come up with an average number of words people speak and/or hear in a lifetime. I just didn't feel like searching for the resource to quote the exact number in this post. It is five o'clock in the morning, and I have been awake since two. Don't judge me. Anyway, we hear a lot of words. And by 'hear' I mean come in contact with through sound, sight, or thought. All of those words tell us what we should know or believe or think. Then, we sit it down on the coffee table of our minds to come back to later. We hear more words and add it to the others. Eventually, we end up with clutter. All the things that we have been told or read to think about ourselves end up taking up space in our dormant thoughts until, at just the wrong time, they decide to surface. Where do you think my streamlining thought came from? From some dream killer that I listened to after sharing an idea I had. Dream killers suck all the life out of our visions, and add clutter that comes back to haunt us later. Nay-sayers, pessimists, struggling, insecure, negative Nancies just wipe us clean of all the potential we could have. That is, until we notice it and decide to do something about it. Just like spring cleaning in your home, we need to set aside time to deep clean our thoughts. We have to get rid of all the clutter that has attached itself to us. We have to silence all the voices that distract us from our true identities and passions. So what clicked with me this morning? Well, I have been researching things for my job which includes talking to people about their lives. I have also had to read about the lives of historical figures for my black history month posts. What I have noticed is that everyone that is successful has multiple things they have done or sought to do. Even celebrities and successful business owners today spread their energy into different things. This is especially true with creative minds. There are so many "artists" that paint and write and photograph and sing and act and dance and....fill in the blank. So the idea that I have to stop dreaming or coming up with ideas seems insane to me. Then that thought prompted a mass session of de-cluttering all of the thoughts that I had held on to that were not mine. Every thought that told me I wasn't qualified or that things had to happen in a certain order; Bye Felicia. Every thought that made me feel like my ideas would never become reality; Bye Felicia. The thought that I've already had my best years; Adios! The thought that I waited too late to try to figure out what I wanted to do; Tossed. One after another, those thoughts have to go, leaving me with the purest source of my truth; what my Creator said. I believe that I was made to be creative for a reason, and that pursuing the dreams he placed in me are my ultimate form of worship and relationship with him. I also believe that he made other people the way he made them for a reason, which extends to children as well. A lot of that clutter I had to get rid of dated back to my childhood. Teachers, peers, friends, and family that discouraged me instead of being enthusiastic supporters. Sometimes people cloud your vision because they can't see what you see. So, survey what you tell yourself. Survey what voice you listen to. Make sure that the life you are living is your life, and not what someone else had made you believe it was supposed to be. And if you notice some thoughts of clutter, clean it out. |
AuthorHi! I'm Sha Johnson. I'm an established author, and radical lover of all things that lead to empowerment. But mostly, I'm a girl that felt like my life can help others, so I decided to share it with you. I hope you enjoy reading my posts. Archives
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